Words by: Nichelle Cobb
Comedic Actor Bob Saget once said “My confidence waivers between being genuine and being insecure.” There is as status quo in society that individuals are to live their lives as confident human beings, in order to be successful. Women, especially are frowned upon for not exemplifying confidence and wearing their insecurities on their sleeves. The behavior and viewpoints of society mainly is what causes women to walk around like everything is ok, when in reality they are falling apart.
Even though this has been a pressing issue for most women it wasn’t until recently we began to see this matter discussed on television. Writer and actress Issa Rae has begun to spark the minds of women with her HBO Comedy series “Insecure.” Issa Rae, the writer and main character of the show, from week to week she leaves viewers buzzing with excitement for the next episode. The show mainly follows the life of Two African American women (Issa and Molly), as they go through daily struggles and cope with life’s experiences. Nadia Ross, an Architecture student from Silver Spring, Maryland, was “captivated by Issa’s genuine personality and reliability after watching the first episode.” The sitcom normalizes women having insecurities and not always being confident in every situation. Insecure has become a phenomenon because it appeals to women from all walks of life no matter what race or social status. Women of all backgrounds can identify with the issues that are discussed on the show.
One of Issa’s constant dilemma’s is fighting insecurities, while striving to be confident and successful. This is a common struggle many women face mainly because they find themselves trying to reach the same expectations of people who in their opinion define success. Women often try to model what society advertises as confident, from beauty standards to economic status. People fail to realize that “Unrealistic beauty standards of society contribute to a woman’s insecurity, you feel like you’re in competition because of the images surrounding you” said Jade Hancock a Psychology student from Daytona Beach, Florida.
The Beauty behind Insecure, is that it highlights the importance of having great friends to help you get through your lowest moments. In reality, having a few solid individuals who believe in you can help increase confidence. Erasing your imperfections overnight is impractical, however not letting them consume all of you is a great way to cope. Insecurities “Influence me to do better, they help me question myself and learn from the mistakes I’ve made,” said Taelor Florence, a Business Administration student from Jacksonville, Florida. Accepting short comings and moving forward sounds good, but can be difficult for most women. That’s why some individuals seem to have that one insecurity that lingers and blocks them from reaching a higher level of confidence. Most women don’t know where to start when it comes to building confidence, but the answer is simple; through your insecurities you should find your confidence and learn to have a “yes I’m this way but that’s ok “type of attitude.
Confidence and insecurity are an oxymoron; however, it is healthy to have a balance of both. According to healthyneurotics.com, that balance, as well as a healthy dose of blind optimism, helps individuals take a step forward in life and push away the boundaries of a comfort zone. That’s why shows like Insecure are necessary to help normalize the balance of both. In season two Issa not only struggles to fix problems with her ex-boyfriend, but also face challenges with a new school she’s assigned to work with. New challenges at work creates new insecurities for Issa when the vice principle at one of the new sites put her in a situation that comprised her integrity by supporting prejudice actions. Fortunately, by the end of the season she was able to stand up to the vice principle and be honest with her boss. Ideally the HBO comedy helps women realize “Wow, the main characters are dealing with the same problems I’m facing now, maybe I’m not that bad” said Florence.
In retrospect, being confident unites women, while our insecurities make us unique. They simply walk hand in hand, insecurity being held close by confidence, and confidence kept humble by insecurity. Even though society has one of the largest roles in how women view themselves, it is important for one to define their own success. Jeaneille Lewis, an Abuse Counselor for The Department of Children and families said “My own insecurities were my worst enemy when I first started my career.” Lewis was fresh out of college working with people twice her age and dealing with heavy concerns of clients. She doubted her abilities because she felt like she wasn’t as good as her other colleague’s. However, with great support from her family and friends, Lewis was able to realize her full potential and her fear and doubts slowly faded away. Women must be willing to put in the work, “being confident takes a lot of deep self-reflection, you have to know and truly love yourself,” said Hancock. Therefore, it shouldn’t matter if you have relationship issues like Issa, or a career dilemma like Molly, if you’re confident through your insecure moments you can make it through anything.